What Not To Do When Entering a Pie Contest

Just a quick suggestion for the eleven other pie-makers who are readying their ovens for Jenise Silva’s Cake vs. Pie contest.

Tomorrow, when you arrive at Vermillion and confidently deposit your pie on the judging table, after you take a quick look around the room and begin to apprehend that you’ve just entered your humble sweet into a race with professionals and dessert obsessives, after you start to worry that no pie will ever be as drop dead gorgeous as those five cakes over there, the ones that look like they’ve been spun from gold-plated sugar by fairies whose teeny tiny hands do nothing so well as shape fondant, remember that fondant tastes like styrofoam, that pie is a rustic dessert, beautiful in its particular lumpy, golden way–and take heart. You can win this contest. Above all, do not under any circumstances freak out and leave. Or you’d be, like me, the dork who missed her big Best in Show moment at last year’s Cake vs. Pie.

Seriously, don’t leave. If only because I’m dying to meet y’all.

And now a quick suggestion for folks who haven’t entered the Cake vs. Pie contest: come! It’s a blast, there’s booze, and we get to chow down on the entries after judging is over. The details:

Crust or Crumb? A Cake vs. Pie Rematch

Call to Bakers for October 10 Faceoff

SEATTLE – September 6, 2011 – Bakers from both sides of the fence will have a chance to put an end to that age old debate in households across America…cake or pie?

Last year pie reigned victorious. But the crown, once again, is up for grabs.

On October 10, bakers will “bring it” with their favorite cake or pie creations. Bakers, both amateurs and professionals alike, will be competing for prizes and the ultimate bragging rights to the best baked goodness in Seattle.

If you have stories to share about cake or pie, then consider this event your soapbox.

Prizes will be awarded based on overall appearance, taste and texture (crust or crumb) by judges who rock the Seattle culinary scene.

Cake vs Pie is presented in conjunction with media partner Seattlest.

WHAT:         Jenise Silva’s Cake vs. Pie

WHEN:         Monday, October 10, 6 pm

WHERE:      Vermillion, 1508 11th Ave Seattle, Wa 98122

WHY:            To compete for great prizes and settle the age old debate…Cake or Pie?

A Commonplace of Apple Pie

Apple pie invented itself on the outskirts of what would become Hoboken, New Jersey on the afternoon of August 5, 1717. The apple orchards, too, were accidental, carried afar in the bellies of birds and bears and other four-legged fruit-eating animals, the seeds polished and shined by the intestines of their hosts and planted in spoor on new ground. When apple trees began to blossom among the inedible deciduous woods, settlers raced to cut the alders and underbrush away so the apples could have the full portion of sunlight they hoped their God owed them.

Back then, apple trees did not fruit every year. The settlers blamed themselves for this: in their greed, they had picked the first apple trees to near death. That the trees chose to hibernate every other year seemed an act of self preservation, and the settlers resolved to be patient. 1717 was an off year, so a farm wife named Nancy Cottonwood retrieved a cache of apples stored in her cellar from the previous harvest. In the cool darkness the apples had kept remarkably well, but were no longer attractive. To appease their vanity, she cut them up. To honor their barren parents, she removed the tough core and seeds. And because it was the day before Sunday, her day of rest, she made pastry instead of slow-rising brown bread, wrapped the apples so they would not get cold, and baked them in her wood-burning oven. When William Cottonwood retuned from the fields, he smelled his dinner on the windowsill and said, “Wife, give me a kiss. Food without hospitality is medicine.” It was a proverb he had heard in the tavern in town, where apple cider ran cleaner than water from any well in this would-be virgin world his people had claimed by calling it new.

The Ecstasy of Influence

More for you literary Seattleite types: The Ecstasy of Influence. Programming genius Jennifer Borges Foster has created a multidisciplinary evening for City Arts Fest that’s all about what happens when a brilliant poet (Heather McHugh), who–if you don’t already know–possesses oceans of talent and a heart the size of Texas, uses her joie de vivre and sharp intellect to inspire and instruct students of poetry (that’s Kary Wayson, Erika Wilder, and me) to write great poems and be great people. I’m proud to be a part of this reading. I think you’ll have a great time if you come. The details:

Heather McHugh is one of the most distinct and important voices in American poetry. Her words sing off the page and tickle the brain. This remarkable pairing of wit and hymn has transfixed audiences for decades, and in this reading we will celebrate the cerebral song of McHugh while taking a closer look at her influence on NW poetics. Heather will be joined by 3 of her most talented former and current students, Kary Wayson, Kate Lebo and Erika Wilder. We’ll hear short readings from each of these young luminaries punctuated by songs based on McHugh’s poems by spunky bluegrass trio The Half Brothers, followed by a reading from Heather McHugh herself. The event will be hosted by Jennifer Borges Foster. Chrom-A-Matic, a visual arts collective and on-the-spot painting troupe will be creating new paintings based on the poems and songs presented throughout the evening. These paintings will be autctioned off after the readings to benefit Heather McHugh’s favorite charity, the World Society for the Protection of Animals.

Thursday, October 20 at Town Hall. Doors at 7pm. For tickets and more info, click here.

Pie Life at City Arts Fest

For City Arts Fest (Oct 20-22) I’m helping put together an awesome event
called Pie Life and I feel like I would be remiss if I didn’t ask all you pie fans out there (well, the ones who live in/near Seattle) to please contribute a fabulous pie to our pie contest.

Pie Life (Sat Oct 22 at 1p.m. at Fred Wildlife Refuge) asks a local writer
(David Schmader), food critic (Sara Dickerman), blogger (Shauna James Ahern) and musician (Tilson from the Saturday Knights) to tell us their favorite pie stories. Once storytime is over, we’ll fill our pie holes with fresh-baked treats from the best pie-makers in Seattle–you! Pie banquet and ambient twang from the band Tall Boys to follow. Hosted by yours truly (City Arts just called me an “extreme pie enthusiast,” which might be the best appositive ever appended to my name) and KUOW’s Jeannie Yandel.

Will you do it? If you enter the pie contest, you get into the event for
free. Otherwise it’s just $5, and I hope you’ll at least come and cheer on
other pie bakers and dance your pants off.  (You can read more about the
event, get directions, and buy tickets here).

*To enter the pie contest, send your full name and e-mail
to pie@cityartsfest.com and bring your made-from-scratch pie to Fred
Wildlife Refuge between noon and 1 pm on October 22. We’ll award prizes
based on taste, appearance, nostalgia, and overall awesomeness.

*IN ADDITION TO FAME AND GLORY, HERE ARE SOME OF THE FABULOUS PRIZES YOU
COULD WIN:*

• Pastry Print from Cakespy.com‘s Jessie Oleson
• Tallboys CDs
• Gift certificates for 2 tubs each of lard from Dietrich’s Meats in Krumsville, PA (best lard EVER)
• A pie class and pastry cloth from Four and 20 Blackbirds
• Coffee and conversation with Art of the Pie‘s Kate McDermott
• High Five Pie gift pack
• a subscription to Edible Seattle
• a Hugo House membership